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PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2013 9:18 am 
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Radio-KOL Admin
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Joined: Mon Sep 20, 2004 4:00 am
Posts: 871
Location: London, UK
Is your poetry awful?
Is it scary?
Can you laugh at yourself?
Are you desperate to top Tom Sawyer's EPIC winning poem from last year?
Have you dreamed of having a recitation of your poem by glorious bastard Bluestu?

If you answered yes to all of the above, then I have the contest for you!

I'm doing an awfully scary poetry contest on Wednesday the 30th of October! All Hallow's Eve...Eve, as it were.

Words you must include:
Gastronomical - {Tom Sawyer 16/10/13}
Belie - {Soldan 16/10/13}
Plethora - {AromiaFlyce 16/10/13}
Scurvy - {Ravengyre 16/10/13}
Discord - {Werefrog 23/10/13}
Fondue - {Kaateke2 23/10/13}
Tactile - {Blorthorc 23/10/13}
Unattended - {EroticMuppetKiller 23/10/13}

Prizes (so far):
10 million Meat (thank you Quisalas)
A piece of Radio Gear (Your choice of Voluminous Radio Hat or Voluminous Radio Pants)
A custom title proclaiming your title as Most Awful Poet in the Kingdom

Donations are always welcome!

For inspiration see Last Year's Contest

Send your poems now to jezebelle.kol@gmail.com with the subject "Awful Scary Poetry Contest 2: Revenge of the Miasma!"

Be sure to include your player name so that we can give you credit!

There is a DJ Only Prize as well...TBD :)


Last edited by Jezebelle on Wed Oct 30, 2013 3:19 pm, edited 4 times in total.
Edited to update prize list


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2013 5:04 pm 
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Radio-KOL DJ
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Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:00 am
Posts: 720
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Man, it's times like these I wish I were a vanilla listener again...


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 04, 2013 7:51 am 
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Posts: 871
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Nassive, DJs can enter too!

I will add a DJ only prize if enough DJs want to participate. :)


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 04, 2013 12:23 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 6:54 pm
Posts: 177
I may have to go Dr. Seuss on this bitch. >.>


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2013 8:06 pm 
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Radio-KOL Admin
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Joined: Mon Sep 20, 2004 4:00 am
Posts: 871
Location: London, UK
Start writing!! See above post for details! You have until 2 PM EST on Wednesday the 30th of October to send in your entries!

Optional Words (suggested but not chosen):
cockatrice
Friday
locust
Sword
caliginous
nebulous
booger
toadstool
orange
onamonapia
sibilant
caramel
moobs
snacker
spooky
meth
gonad
tuberculosis
greenhouse
blanket
caricous


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 2:09 am 
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Radio-KOL DJ
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Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:00 am
Posts: 720
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
... What.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:02 am 
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Radio-KOL Admin
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Posts: 871
Location: London, UK
I sadly, have had only one entry to my contest. :(

This is tomorrow!

I need all entries before the 3 PM EDT Tomorrow Wednesday the 30th of November!!!


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 3:54 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2010 2:17 pm
Posts: 12
Jez

My poem has been sent.

Forgive me yet again :)


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 1:54 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 20, 2004 4:00 am
Posts: 871
Location: London, UK
Where did you send it? I didn't get it :(


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 8:27 pm 
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Radio-KOL Admin
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Joined: Mon Sep 20, 2004 4:00 am
Posts: 871
Location: London, UK
A winner is BlortHorc!! Thank you to all who entered! :)

Here is his winning entry:
Quote:
Foetid rotting slugs
Unattended in beer traps
Slow warming evaporation
Creates fondue of death

Senses in discord
Plethora of memories
Belie the stank
Visceral tactile slime

Bile evoking nausea
Gorge pools in oesophugus
Fingers find the plumpest
Rotting gobbets of flesh

Feast on the dead
Ward off scurvy
Devour gastronomical perversions
Life subsumes morality

Good for another day


Tied for 2nd place - Granite Grizz and Soldan!

Quote:
Last Hunger by Granite_Grizz

My gastronomical discomfort
had me kind of out of sort
when a fondue I did spy

A plethora of smells it emitted
and internal discord submitted
a hunger which I could not deny.

A tactile heat I ate from the urn
The steaming cheese did slightly burn
As I had more than just a try

But this unattended pot of taste
on my scurvy it was a waste
For within it Vitamin C did not lie.

So while my hunger was abated
and my taste buds completely sated
I was still about to die.

So, in this corner gently shaking
this poem with my last breaths making
Who would, to my claims, belie?


Quote:
Soldan

Darkedly rose the discord of the night,
I knew that it would be a hellova fight,
Gastronomical pains from bad fondue,
Only tonight could give the devil his due.
There was a plethora of scurvy dogs,
Unattended finicky worthless cogs,
Whose tactile existence served to make cry,
The little girls and boys for whom belie
The dancing devil in the darkness of life
For which the only thing he cared was strife.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 31, 2013 11:45 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2010 2:17 pm
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Well it appears my email got lost. Oh well, congrats everyone. Here was my entry:



Gather around brave adventurers for Halloween is nearly here
And let me relate unto you a horrify tale to fill you with fear!
You see old flaccid dick wanted to visit the kingdom of loathing
To bring everyone pots of white sticky fondue and bundles of stiff leather clothing!
But the council got wind of this event and began to rant and rave
We shall not allow him and his scurvy brood to ruin the festive charades!
The council then did something truly evil and not all wise
They sent an adventurer to the NS and asked her for advice!
She sent back a spell that claimed to offered protection
But instead it belied to the council and gave them 24 hour erections!
Even worse it lowered the kingdoms barriers and inhibitions
While summoning Old Flacid Dick and his plethora of sexual acquisitions!
Old Flacid Dick flew in on a time sleigh of ultimate sin and sleaze
And began his conquest of the kingdom in the manor that only he could conceive!
He began at the haunted pantry and Spooky Ravens
Where he laid waste to anything from cans to undead jilted maidens!
Off to the bat hole he did descend wielding his well lubed bacon staff
Where he made sure not to leave one bat unattended or able to laugh!
He made sure to stop at the Knob Goblins and Degrassi knoll
Where he force fed them a splugetastic gastronomical sausage roll!
All through the night did he ooze making to sure to visit every location
From Hey Deeze to Rabbit Holes to Pirate Ships to overpriced 3 turn vacations!
Not one creature did he spare from his infernal horrid lust filled fondue
He spread his spunk and his discord bursting every creature’s deepest taboos!
From the Orcish Frat House to the Hippy Camp giving them all his dubious reward
Every single monster fell to his splugetastic meat sword!
As the night finally neared its close Old Flacid Dick come to the tower
Dragging behind him the council as his defeated vassals!
The NS within tried to hide behind her throne so dark
But Old Flacid dick used his superior tactile senses to drag her forth!
He glared upon them and began to rant and rave
Then he unleashed upon them his most vile spell dark and depraved!
Up rose Yo-Gurt, Shub-Jigguwatt, and Dad Sea Monkee
With a collection of Japanese Hentai that was truly swanky!
And as the council and the NS did began to wail
Old Flacid Dick flew out the window to get himself some King Ralph tail!
So ended the night of sin but remember adventurers my dire warnings
Write not poetry this corny!


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