Congrats Tom! No doubt Rob Zombie will be in touch about the film rights
And for posterity (and posteriors) mine:
Midnight and 'twas gloomy and dark
A miasma hung over the park
I set out on a solitary stroll
When I was faced with a ravenous troll
Such a hideous creature to see
Clutching his warped ukelele
His green flaccid penis did drip
Into a prophylactic glued to the tip
I detected the odor of toast
From a foul mouth that he opened to boast
"I've eaten hundreds of men just like you
Boiled or mashed or put into a stew"
I held fast my ground, showing no fear
And replied while I scratched at my ear
"You supposedly think me a snack
But I'll allow you to take that thought back
"You see, I'm not kosher for you,
Nor am I halal, or vegan tofu
My body is high in cholesterol
And my organs are basted in much alcohol"
The troll took a sniff and near retched
He took a step back and then stretched
"I think I'll find something less dour,
I hear McDonalds opens again in an hour"
With that the brute lumbered away
I heaved a great sigh and did sway
The next night I'll stay in to watch telly
And not end up inside that troll's belly.