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Basic Data

Image by Splintered

 Show Name:   
 Prize Multi:  N/A 

 Age:  26 
 Sex:  Female 
 Location:  Cambridge, MA 
 Email:  djhaplo@gmail.com 
 Twitter:  Not Provided 

Show Times:
See Schedule

Haplo is a Radio KoL DJ with shows on Thursday and Sunday nights from 7-10, US Eastern Time. She is the longtime girlfriend of Radio KoL DJ Fusilliban.

Contact Info

Radio Information

Haplo's show is called "Haplo's Ultimate Music Party" or "HUMP" for brevity.
Well, ok, less for brevity than for cheap innuendo value.


Possible other acronyms of HUMP:

  • Haplo's Unfortunate Menstrual Pissiness
  • Haplo's Universal Message of Peace
  • Haplo's Underaged Male Popularity
  • Haplo's Unbelievably Moxious Parade
  • Haplo's Unusual Muppet Preoccupation
  • Historically Uber Mammary Playtime
  • Highly Unnatural Maternal Parenting
  • Hillariously Unnerving Mental Patient

Add your own!!


While she has gone through periods of time wherein most shows have themes, these days it is more often that the show does not have a set theme beyond "music that sounds good." This does not necessarily mean that anything and everything goes, however. Haplo will often get on a musical groove and play a certain genre for a while, and even if that 'while' is only three songs long, it takes a lot to get her to drastically change song genres from one song to the next. She prefers to find some manner of linking the two genres together - if possible.

Likely To Hear (Or Not)

Haplo has a fairly wide range of taste in music, but there are types of music andor bands that you're more likely to hear than others - and less likely to hear than others.

  • Likely To Hear: Jonathan Coulton (Haplo is Radio Kol's resident Jonathan Coulton fangirl, and prides herself in playing more JoCo than any other DJ), pop-punk-ska, a cappella, chick music, video game music remixes, silly chairdance music, bellydance tunes, mashups, indie/emo, classical, drum corps/marching band, and operatic metal.
  • Not Likely To Hear: rap/hiphop, twangy country, screamy thrash death metal.


It is rare that Haplo completely refuses requests. It is equally rare that she plays every single request sent to her. Most often there is a middle ground; send in a request, and if she respects, likes, or even just recognizes either 1) the music or 2) you, and the music doesn't drastically clash with the kind of music she is playing at the time (see above), it is likely to get played. That said, Haplo has very strict request rules.

  1. Your request must be sent to djhaplo@gmail.com. MUST BE. You see, Haplo is an easily distracted girl, especially while DJing. You can blue message her and ask her to play a song, and she can be really excited by the idea and all about it, but after her screen scrolls up and that blue message is no longer visible? She won't remember it. At all. The beauty of the gmail box is that the requests sit RIGHT THERE and are only ever deleted when she consciously decides to do so. Hence, even if you ask her in game or on AIM or whatever and she sounds like she will be playing your request, you should still send her an email to ensure she doesn't forget. (You also feasibly could message her over and over about it, but that leads you down a dark path of annoying behavior that you just don't want to go down. Seriously, send the email and wait from there.)
  2. IF you decide to send a file along with your request email, that file must be in .wav or .mp3 format. This does NOT mean you absolutely have to send a file along with your email. Haplo has a large collection of music, and she might very well have the song you're requesting. However, if she doesn't, there's no way she can play your request unless you send it along, so it's generally a good idea to do so if you have it. The server setup really cannot handle file types that aren't .mp3, though, and while it can handle .wav they are generally HUEG [sic], so try to stick to .mp3.
  3. Tell her your in-game name. She loves to say, "This request is for [person]," but if she doesn't know who you are, she can't say it. Also, quite honestly, Haplo likes to know what kind of music certain people tend to request so that she can know what she's about to hear (or not hear, as the case may be.)
  4. Tell her the artist and title of the song. Seriously, some of your files are horrendously mistagged. "Artist - Track 1.mp3" gives no information. If there's a request email with a song with that kind of filename and no other information, she's gonna delete it right off.
  5. Be polite. Use proper spelling and grammar. Punctuate and capitalize correctly. Haplo doesn't demand perfection, but she does ask that you TRY. If you don't bother to use language correctly, why should she bother playing your request?


Haplo%20by%20SenorRandom.jpg Haplo's fans are the Shiny Haplo People. The incredibly talented Lilac has even written and recorded her a version of "Shiny Haplo People" sung over the karaoke track for REM's "Shiny Happy People." If you would like to record her a version of this (either using Lilac's words or writing new ones yourself,) Haplo would LOVE to send you the karaoke track to play with. Seriously. Just ask. As for becoming a Shiny Haplo Person, there is no initiation, list of names, or anything else binding about it. You decide that you are one, or you aren't, and you can enjoy her show either way. Haplo also likes covers of her intro done by fans. The intro ("It's Haplo, da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Haplo!") was first created by Malatise after Haplo reacted favorably to her spontaneous singing at the KoLumbus KoL meet. It has been covered three times: a jazz-style offering by SenorRandom, an odd dinosaur-squawk by Criswell, and the cat-styled "It's Meowplo" by Bugle.
Image by SenorRandom


Haplo doesn't do many contests. "Not many," doesn't mean, "None," however, and note that since she doesn't do many, this means that what contests she DOES hold will give away goodly amounts of prizes. Feel free to donate in-game items to her to use as contest prizes, but understand that it might be a while before they are given away.

DJ History

Haplo first joined the Radio KoL community because of her boyfriend, Fusilliban, who had been hired as a DJ during the early days of Radio KoL. She would log onto KoL or the Radio KoL IRC chat room during his radio shows to chat with other listeners, and through this began to be known by people. She joined him on air three or four times in the early days, including a particularly memorable "DJ Orgy" featuring other DJs Eyespeculum and Duckyfresh. At some point she became so enamoured and well-known within the community that she approached Fusilliban and asked him if he would be bothered if she horned in on his territory and applied to be a DJ. His response was, "I was wondering why you've waited so long." So, she sent in an application and waited for several months. The reigns of hiring passed from whomever was in charge then to KolMohDee, and she continued waiting. At some point several months later, during a conversation with KMD, she mentioned she had an application in to be hired. KMD was incredibly surprised, thinking that she was already an actual hired DJ who just wasn't doing regular shifts. Soon after that, on November 26, 2004, Haplo aired her first radio show. She has been doing 2-3 shows a week regularly since then.


Haplo has been known as just Haplo for going on 10 years now, due to a previous online community. When she first created a character on KoL, the name Haplo had been taken, so she created Haplo3k instead (for personal reasons.) The person who had taken the name Haplo eventually let it expire, and so on July 10, 2005, Haplo3k created the account Haplo and switched over all official DJ business to it. Haplo3k still exists and is used by Haplo as her 'gaming' account, although very little of that actually occurs.

Personal Information


  • Age: 26
  • Gender: female
  • Location: Cambridge, MA
  • Time spent dating & living with Fusilliban: Click to see! (Page courtesy cerise and relsqui.)
  • Pets: 2 cats.
  • Job: Currently unemployed!
  • Education: University of Oklahoma, BA in Letters / Minor in Physics.


  • Bellydancing: Haplo has been bellydancing since 1998, but took a few years off in the middle to concentrate on college. She returned to it seriously in 2005, joining two different performing troupes in the Boston area. Then, in mid-2006, she suffered a rather painful hip injury that has kept her away for dancing for several months. You can see Haplo's bellydancing pictures (and links to video) here.
  • Knitting: Haplo learned knitting from her friend t'pau in mid-2004 and has since zoomed away with it. She probably has about five projects on needles at any given point in time, and would love to geek about them with interested people. You can see Haplo's crafting pictures here.
  • Music: Haplo was a total band nerd in elementary/middle/high school and college. She owns a french horn and a flute that she does not play at all enough, and a piano that sadly still lives at her mother's house in Oklahoma. She will geek about DCI and Blast! with you if you let her.
  • Gaming: Haplo is not actually much of a gamer, but she is slowly working her way through Chrono Trigger on a SNES emulator and plays in a weekly D&D campaign.


Fusilliban%20and%20Haplo%20by%20Inari.jpg Haplo and Fusilliban began dating before either of them knew of the existence of KoL or Radio KoL. They have a mutual friend in real life, to whom Haplo had whined about being single, who suggested that they meet. He claimed they would get along. He was right. They met in late January 2004 and have been a couple ever since, moving in together a year and a half later in July of 2005. Fusilliban%20and%20Haplo%20by%20SenorRandom.jpg
Image by Inari Image by SenorRandom


Attention Whoring (pictures)

Attention Whoring (LiveJournal)

Fusilliban/Haplo dating timer

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