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Rude Elk Zest! Yes, it's an anagram. (A magnesian satyr, if you prefer.)


Inactive status.

Contact Info

kmail: SeltzerDuke (#261679) email:


I have an irrational phobia of genre terminology.

Nevertheless, some helpful delineations include: synthpop, darkwave, goth-rock, post-punk revival, dance-rock/punk, indie rock, electroclash, (post) trip-hop, europop/rock, and world music (in particular Middle Eastern fusion and bhangra).

Just which of these will turn up on any given show, and in which patterns, is an inexact science dictated by whimsy and mood. I do aim for a modicum of coherence, with mixed results; rumour has it that time of day locally also has an impact on my playlists. (Also, beware of the rare bout of early 90s nostalgia.)

A list of usual suspects would feature the likes of: PJ Harvey, Subsonica, Switchblade Symphony, The Faint, Meg Lee Chin, Joseph Arthur, Ladytron, Funker Vogt, Hilltop Hoods, Hot Hot Heat and Natacha Atlas. (I can already find a dozen things wrong with this list inclusivity-wise, and I aim for a broad cross-section of artists rather than emphasis on a select few, but I'll leave it in the interests of getting this done.)

As a final note, I have a terrible fondness for covers of every stripe and play them with disturbing regularity.

Points of Protocol

  • Contests: On my shows these are few and far between, waiting for inspiration to strike. In general, I tend to stockpile my station swag for special occasions, and will try to give notice at the start of a show (and in advance if possible) if I have something planned of the sort. Past participants can attest to the obscure and/or time-consuming nature of my contests, as well as my predilection for awarding consolation prizes.
  • Donations: It stands to follow after the last point that, therefore, I don't actively solicit donations. The generosity of listeners is always appreciated, but I would rather see their largesse go to the DJs who run contests more frequently than I do. At the very least, please check with me before sending anything.
  • Requestage: I'm an ornery sort, and I sheepishly admit that if I think a request would be amiss on my show or if I feel it does not fit the current theme/mood, then I'll have to pass on it. With that said, some of my favourite tracks have been listener requests, and having something end up in my hallowed Keeper Folder will earn you a spot in my unofficial fast-track request queue. Woo! Files can be sent to where they will await my verdict; this method is probably the best way to have me play something. Messages in-game are less likely to succeed, although asking if I have a certain something can't hurt, and requesting an artist rather than a specific track is especially helpful. (Green messages/kmails tend to go unnoticed whilst I'm on-air, as might a request into open chat if I'm distracted, so blue messages are best for the sort.)
  • Player-Made Music: Several other DJs on the station will happily play your stuff. I might do on sporadic occasions, for novelty's sake, but for the most part I'm too much of a curmudgeon to appreciate creativity. ;)
  • Bumps: Okay, so I can appreciate creativity if it's about ME. I don't intersperse bumps throughout my shows, partly because I've not nearly enough of them for proper variety, and partly because I'm a stickler for musical transitions. However! I do like to update my show intro track every so often, and I greatly appreciate short bumps to splice into them for the purpose, so do feel free to send your vocal stylings, suggestive praise, and eccentric enunciations of my name. Just like SenorRandom, you can be listening to the beginning of my show one day and say 'Wait! That's me!'
  • Talky Bits: So, yeah. I'm not the most loquacious DJ around, but then I try to let my music selection do the talking. I do check in every four or five tracks if you miss me, and I'll drop commentary on what I've played or other thoughts which occur to me, but fans of my wit will generally have to watch me in /radio. As for fans of my voice, well, they're sick and wrong, I tell you! I try to indulge requests for my Spanish, which generally only come from one listener anyhow. (She knows who she is.)

DJ Minutiae


The Basics

  • Age: 29
  • Gender: Male
  • Location: (Northern) New Jersey, US
  • Job: Yes, please.
  • Education: Work in process.
  • DJ since: May 2005
  • KOLer since: Oct 2004

The Trivial

  • Parents immigrated from Argentina.
  • Born in Miami, grew up in Jersey.
  • Number of US states visited? 37.
  • Which ones are left? Patches in the interior: Kansas, Oklahoma, Alabama. Upper Midwest to Northwest: Wisconsin, Minnesota, North and South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho and Washington. Non-contiguous: Alaska, Hawai'i.
  • Countries visited? North America: Canada, Mexico. South America: Argentina, Uruguay. Europe: UK (England, Scotland), Spain, France, Belgium, Finland, Turkey and the Netherlands. Asia (Minor): Turkey. Yes, I'm cheating to add an extra continent. Lastly, Australia (four months in Melbourne).

The Mundane

  • Gaming systems played? AD&D (2nd Edition forever and ever, amen.), Palladium (Robotech, Rifts), Marvel Superheroes (I was young and needed the money!). Abducted by aliens and taken to non-costume LARPing convention in an isolated episode. Ancient Anguish player and builder in the golden age of MUDs (1994-1995). That groovy MadMaze game on Prodigy. Some kooky stick-figure MMORPG called Kingdom of Loathing. Retired from consoles with the twilight of the SNES. Catching up on some Final Fantasy backlog however (thanks emulators!).
  • KOL meets attended? Arkanstock, Boston Common 2005, Amplique 2005, KOLumbus I, II, & III, KOLondon II & III, ConnectiKOL I, KOLtimore II, KOL Con IV.
  • Notable concerts attended? Alphabetically: Björk. Bloc Party. The Bravery. Cibo Matto. Conjure One/Delerium. Depeche Mode. The Faint. Franz Ferdinand. Garbage. Girls Against Boys. Goldfrapp. Hot Hot Heat. IAMX. Idlewild. Interpol. Joseph Arthur. Klaxons. Ladytron. Placebo. PJ Harvey (Melbourne, NYC and Philly). Poe. Tori Amos (numerous times back in the day). Tracy Bonham. Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Wolfsheim. U2.
  • Nothing else occurs at the moment.
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